Where's the happiness switch?
Happiness! A guest we always long to meet. We search effortlessly for him, and although he does appear, the exchange is short-lived. But does it have to be?
The amount of time we spend with happiness never seems enough, and when it leaves it is usually not on our terms
The search for happiness is an urge we feel deep inside of us. It is an innate desire we try to fulfill. Its pursuit leads us to various places, and though we may find it, the meeting is usually fleeting. We try to find it in the work we do, in the food we eat, in things we buy, in the time we spend with family and friends, or in entertainment. Happiness appears but shortly thereafter runs away, leaving a superficial feeling behind, raising the question: How can I stay happy?
True happiness
When true happiness kicks in, it glows from within, deep inside, a special place filled with calm, serenity, and contentment, brightening the world around us and changing the lens from which we view the world. Our perspective is not focused inward anymore, and because it expands our meaning to life, internal happiness radiates peace, leaving us unfazed to life’s highs and lows. Because one key element is that is lasts. Another being the source is not bound to this world and its limitations.
But where do we find lasting happiness? Is it a switch we can simply turn on? Well it’s not as simple as that but it is not that far off either.
Money only buys poverty, and happiness has no price!
First we have to understand that looking for happiness in the wrong places will not yield results. Numerous people who appear to have it all, money, fame, power, success, suffer from depression, and some of them have even taken away the gift of life because they do not have internal happiness. If happiness was something you can buy, then the rich and famous would be. True happiness, contentment, and peace cannot be traded, bought or sold.
Where to look
The Creator of this world has placed happiness in this world, and the short list below captures the common sources we reach out to:
- In the things we buy
- Being with friends and family
- In the time we spend doing things we love
- In entertainment, and fulfillment of desires
It is interesting to note all these types of happiness are elements sourced from the earth; be it the things we make (e.g. clothes, food, phones, Playstation), friends, family, or us. Due to its nature two common themes present when evaluating them:
✗ SHORT-LIVED, NOT LASTING:
Everything made from the earth has a lifespan, which means sooner or later it will go away.
✗ NOT PERFECT:
A common phrase said in society is, “Too much of anything is bad.” This also holds for above forms of happiness, because after reaching a peak they will decline; eventually leading to disappointment, fatigue, and emptiness. For example, although we love our friends and family, we sometimes find ourselves hurt or stressed out because of them.
Clinging to earthly things as sources of happiness does not last. Just like trees wither away in winter and we wither into old age, the pleasures of this world wither away, albeit at a much faster rate. And this life necessitates difficult circumstances will bear down on us. Will these sources carry us forward with peace and contentment even then? Will we still be happy?
Unfortunately the answer is no.They are temporary and not perfect; however, there is hope…
The Source
Flipping the tables a little bit, the choice has to be a source that:
1 Is not short-lived
rather eternal
2 Is perfect and not limited by this world
instead is the source of everything that exists
The true source of happiness cannot be derived from the earth, otherwise it would not qualify. The only perfect and complete source that qualifies is Allah subhana wa ta’ala. Only He is The Self-Sufficient, who provides for everything and everyone while needing nothing from His creation.
Believing heart
Many scholars of Islam have said, “If the kings knew the happiness and pleasure that we feel in our hearts, they would come and try to take it away from us with the tips of their swords."
Let's consider two types of hearts. On one hand there is a heart focused on seeking happiness only through what this world has to offer. We already discussed that although happiness is present, it has limitations.
On the other hand there is a believer's heart that is focused on seeking the pleasure of its Maker. It longs to be close to Allah and is busy remembering and worshiping Him, seeking opportunities to help others, being kind to its parents, and charitable to the poor. It's a heart that has been purified and guided by Allah, cleansed of jealously, hatred, and loves his brothers.
Would a heart that has integrated the above teaching be sad if it doesn't have the latest phone, the largest home, or the fastest car while others have them? Would it be envious, or rather content with its state?
The simple statement said by the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) exemplifies the qualities of a pure heart. It is intrinsically aware of the worth of this world, and has made a conscious choice to instead prepare for the great reward awaiting... Paradise, a special place where everything it desires will be granted.
Believers that have found peace and contentment beyond the limitations of this world are cognizant of why they are alive, and irrespective of the situation are always in an amazing state.
Naturally we are happy when times are good, but there will be times when waves of turbulence will envelope us, and we would not know what do to. A believer's heart would understand everything happens by Allah’s will, and that He has created this world as a test, which will incline it towards patience and asking Allah for support.
O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. [Quran 2: 153]
A believer will be grateful for the good it has even in not-so-good times, bearing patience in a beautiful manner, while an unintentional smile will always accompany him as a Mercy from the One who owns happiness. Can that be said for the other heart? Unfortunately many a times we find ourselves searching for happiness in places where sadness lies.
Tips on seeking happiness
1REPENT:
Sincere repentance cleanses the heart, removes the burden of sins depressing it, and rejuvenates it to taste the sweetness of faith.
2CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE:
Adjust our attitude to one of gratefulness to Allah for the favors we often find ourselves taking for granted (including the 'mundane' things like eyesight, hands, health...), and try hard to persevere with patience during difficult times, because we are working for a very high goal.
3REMEMBERING ALLAH:
The more we remember Allah, the more our hearts will desire to be close to Him, triggering a chain reaction towards a happy, content, peaceful life.
Those who have believed and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." [Quran 13:28]
Eternal happiness
Allah has placed joy in this life but the pleasures of this world are temporary, as is the world and everything in it, including our lives. Limiting happiness to what this world has leaves a void that cannot be satisfied, except by returning back to Allah because He is Al-Ghafoor Al-Wadood (Oft-Forgiving, Ever-Affectionate) [Quran 85:14].
By remembering Allah we find ourselves in a state of peace that no one can take away. The focus of our life becomes pleasing Allah no matter our situation, and when we have pleased Allah we will be given this world on a plate, but more importantly the magnificent reward of Paradise. This world has sadness and depression, but in Paradise there is only ever-lasting bliss. There will be so much joy and happiness that Allah will spoil the people of Paradise. By pleasing Him we will be pleased, and by remembering Him, He will remember us.